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.: March 2006 --> Dear Academy Awards Producers

Dear Academy Awards Producers

» Dear Academy Awards Producers:

Please stop trying to "entertain" me. Your bits are not funny. Please stop trying to do impressive musical dance numbers. They are embarrassing. Please stop trying to convince me that the big screen is superior to DVDs. I agree with you, for many films, but sometimes a film doesn't look good enough for me to want to spend theatre prices to see it. However, I'll often be willing to rent it instead. (BTW, I know a few people with home theatre setups that can very nearly recreate the theatre experience, just so you know: the technology is out there.)

Besides, are you crazy? DVDs make the film industry amazingly profitable. Stop shooting yourself in the foot, and start embracing the post-industrial world. Here, we time-shift and re-purpose content according to our individual needs, and there is a huge business opportunity available to you if only you'll open your eyes and see it.

Additionally, please let the winners have 2 or 3 minutes for their acceptance speeches. The speeches are really the only thing we watch for. (Well, and the dresses.) If we were really just interested in the list of winners, we would spend the time during your show doing something pleasant, and scan the list in the paper the next day. We watch your show to see people accept the awards, not to see former Oscar nominees humiliate themselves with your stupid "comedy".

I love the movies, I love trying to predict who will win, and I love watching all of those people win their awards. Please stop spoiling my fun.

Your pal,
Rebecca Blood

 [ 03.06.06 ]



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